When I’m bored (read: sick and/or home alone) I search “Courtney Stodden” on Tumblr. I never really get far, because I get to a picture or a tweet and it prompts me go on an internet rampage, a quest for knowledge like I just have to know everything about her. I can’t help it, I’m drawn to her. She’s just so fucking ridiculous and that seems really kinda adorable, like a really ugly dog or an elderly woman with purple hair and orange blusher. I never ever get even the littlest bit closer to figuring out what she’s about, but this much I know: I don’t know what she’s trying to get from the world, but we should just give it. Give it all. All the things. All the things for Courtney Stodden. Fuck, give her the next term in the Whitehouse, I think by now she’s earned it.